Saturday 8 September 2018

The Gender Whisperer

i hide
i move
i blend
all in plain sight
not quite of those i move among

i wish i was
i want to be
and everything i’m told says
i should be

i learn
i play
and the friends i have
all seem so different to who i feel i am

i hide
i blend
but sometimes
i get seen
and then i shrink away
i did something
i said something
that doesn’t seem to fit
fit the pattern of who i should be

it’s my skin
it’s my face
it’s my body
they just don’t seem to quite be who i should be

so i hide
i blend
and sometimes i shrink
and shrink some more

until that day
that splendid day
that horrific day
that day i will never forget
when someone
a quiet someone
a stranger someone
looked at me and saw me for who i am

only looked at me for moment
with eyes full of tenderness
eyes full of warmth
but in that moment
i knew
i had been seen

i ran
i froze
i ran some more
my feet feel frozen to the ground
i ran
i shrunk
i barely moved and yet
all of me ran as far away as i could

i watch
wary
but the eyes
the smile
said warmth
said tenderness
and something even more

i couldn’t look
i shouldn’t run
but when all was done
i dared something i’d never done before
as all walked away
i stayed and drew near
and quietly sat nearby

thank you
was all i could say
was all i could do
as i sat so quietly nearby

the eyes were bright
a smile so full of warmth
these words came back
a whisper
a breeze of sound

i thought i heard
but had never heard
i thought i heard the words
“you are beautiful”
but that could never be

i looked
i dared to look
“you are”

at that moment
i had to choose
to run
or
melt


Australia's new PM coined the term "Gender Whisperer" for people who help kids understand
who they are. Scott Morrison, that prime minister, did not use it in a complementary manner but still
it has been adopted by some wonderful friends of mine. This is for them and what they do.
Particularly for how they help the trans community.
(C) Copyright Luke Visser 2018 (written Sept 2018)

Tuesday 24 April 2018

Once was quiet

among us move the quiet
the still
the not so brave
with one wish they want granted
to join that sweet refrain

they sit there still and listen
soaring music through their souls
their bodies resonating
with voices strong and bold

the basses are the breeze
on which sopranos float
the tenors bringing colour
the altos add the hues

of a song
painted
exquisitely
in the air

awed and unbelieving
they stand
they sit
and listen
to voices that sound like one
and yet by eye are many

among us are the quiet
who once were not so brave
their wish
a start
was granted
a part in that majestic choir

and yet the rich refrain
it started as a faltering
the note that came too early
and one that came too late
with pitches low and high
and laughter all around

then one day it comes easily
a rousing ensemble of us all
we stand
we sing
laudate
to delight the every heart

for singings joy is not our own
it’s what we give to others
to draw them from their quiet repose
and join in with the chorus

and for some
the hope
the wish
of song
of repertoire
of solo
or simply
just to sing


This piece comes out of a journey of learning to sing. Of listening to music, choirs and wondering if I could do that too. I can and apparently you can too if you want to, if you have that wish. The poem was triggered by having “Happy Birthday” sung to me at 54 by the choir. I'm the oldest male in a choir of about 50 and yet a whelp compared to the mostly 20somethings who’s singing inspires and delights. Beware, when you imagine that age implies skill, experience or wisdom … it doesn’t. (C) Copyright Luke Visser 2018 (written Apr 2018)