I sat one day and watched
watched and waited
waited and waited
waited
and i felt
felt alone and lonely
how could that be
you love me
you say you do
but i am lonely
a moment
but you rushed on by
a moment
but you stopped to
i don’t even know what
but it wasn’t me
i waited
waited
waited
until I could wait no more
i reached for you
and though you were there
you were gone
and i waited
it must be me
that is only lonely
it must be me
that can’t keep busy
it must be me
that needs to reach for you
and draw you in
but it can’t be me
it must be you
you must see i’m lonely
you must see me alone
but you rush on by
i reach for you
the lightest of touches
the faintest of glances
and you notice
smile
and are gone
and the gone
is good for you
it has to be
it needs to be
but you are gone
so i reach
for the lonely
for the aloneness
and wrap it
around me
and dive
deep
into aloneness
and find
a maze
a bewildering maze
of me
full of me
surrounded by me
i wander slowly through me
searching
amazed at who i am
amazed at what there is
that i’d never seen before
that seemed impossible and unknown
aloneness I know
aloneness i feel
and i follow the scent of loneliness
the lingering tease of being by myself
deep into me
and find
wonder
amazement
and delight
the loneliness that is me
is me
and only me
there is beauty in my aloneness
and my loneliness weeps from it
i stare in amazement
that something so extraordinary
could be so deep and so radiant
I must show you
what i have found
that my aloneness is me
and my loneliness
was my guide
but
the bustle
the need
the perfect right
to be you
will you see
what i see
see the beauty of my aloneness
does it matter
i still sit
i still sit
i still watch and wait
wait and wait
but now i have
something else
and i stand
stand with you
and show you
and you stare in wonder
i never knew
neither did i
i’m still alone
i still feel lonely
but now
I know
that you are too
and that aloneness
is full
of wonder and delight
for me to find
and for you to find too
(C) Copyright Luke Visser 2015 (written April 2015)
