Thursday 1 January 2015

The Field of Listening

i looked across the field
to see the pain, the hurt enormous
a landscape contoured with fear
here one stood to guard a little patch
there another striving to fulfill a dream
still another, digging, always digging


then the quiet ones, the locked away ones
the ones that seemed faraway, distant or gone
as if they lived here physically but elsewhere in reality
for them
occasionally a flicker of recognition
that reality is here not there
and they begin to move, explore
and then again, be bound by the field of pain


little islands lived, seemingly free of pain
little islands that are different
bright in their warmth, depth and peace
little islands that seemed to be
oasis


the field encompassed them, surrounded them
little tendrils of pain reached into them
some almost shattered with deep veins of hurt and pain
but somehow they survived
little islands of peace and harmony, laced and entwined with pain


an island flickered out, one more gone
engulfed by the waves of fear and pain
the field, one day, would win
and all would live in pain


here and there harbingers thrived
drew pleasure from the pain
and played on the fears of those around them
sang songs of failure and hurt
and for them the islands were a blight
to be conquered, to be sundered through
how could some live, truly live, among the pain
and choose not to fear, continue on
they had to be broken, to succumb


far, far away an island began
one chose not to fear
another chose that too
an island of hope rose from the sea of pain


now that i saw one, there were many more
the field of pain was always changing
more islands emerging
some islands gone
in my hope i saw, all would not live in pain


the little patch
the dream some strive to build
the hole that’s been dug and dug
battered from all sides
bruised from defending their patch
i look at the islands and wonder
why


are they
fools who will all break
dreamers who will transform the field anew
stubborn, willfully going their own way
arrogantly ignoring the field around


the patch is yours, the world that you've created
everything you have
everything you've eked from the field of pain
but there must be more, there’s always more
and fear demands to ease it’s fear, go take forever more


i watched one move among the masses
stopping along the way
listening, conversing, battered, even broken
it was as if, enduring the pain
but never being filled with the fear of the pain to come
there was a blindness to them, an unseeing
one confronted with a harbinger
offered, gave, listened
and the harbinger shrunk back
this one would be hard, this one would be tough
better to destroy the oasis than to tackle this one


i turned to my neighbour and listened
i took some of what they had dug
together we delved in the pain
immersed ourselves in the fear that surrounded us
and chose over fear, to love
unseeing, we became blind to the fear that our neighbours all felt
and began building something together


i hate seeing pain, but i am who i am
in the total dark i can walk through the field
drawn to the pain
waiting for that moment, that incredible moment
when fear seems so far away
and we can build
those around me can build and i can feel safe


none of us though can stay at an oasis
we are always drawn to move along
trusting that those that remain and build them
will nurture, grow, treasure them
trusting that though they are laced and entwined with pain
they will grow in depth, brightness and joy


again
i look across the field of pain and see hope and wonder
i smiled, moved, drawn forever on
looking back i see an oasis where there wasn’t one before
if only i could go back
if only i could go back to that island
an oasis of joy, peace and harmony
live out my life on an island


but going back can never be


(C) Copyright Luke Visser 2015 (written Jan 2015)